I am not sure what is going on with me but I think I may need a spiritual cleansing. a few years ago I met someone in Portuguese class, and thought he was cute, but at the time he was like 23 and at the time I was, married- and not 23. He seemed to track me down no matter what, and always had nice things to say in emails. always saying "we should get together". So finally after always thinking "why should I", I thought "why not?" Plus after looking at his facebook photos of him with sexy women all over the world and I have to admit, it really turned me on. I thought well at the very least he must be good in bed. Plus I thought " finally a man after my own heart" because I too have photos posted of myself online with guys all over the world, so what the hell!? Finally one day he called me and said he was going to Peru for the first time and I was excited to tell him what I had learned during my travels there and to warn him about the "tico" taxies and the "Piranhas" that preyed on tourists. So I was glad when he said to meet him at the hudson grill because I had been there before, so there was no risk of me getting lost or hating the food .But the problem began when I was an hour or so early for our date because I had to work that day in New Jersey and I was afraid if I did not leave at 5:00 I'd be late due to traffic, but there was absoultely no traffic, this day nada, so I was an hour early. Ugh. And I was dressed sexy for a date, not for a solo time out, and that is a big difference in clothing...and i was alone at a bar: a bad combination usually- for me. So some man about 50+ light skinned , bougie and his light skinned bougie friends came in and he started talking to me, and flirting and talking shit about my "late" date, I kept saying to him, "my date is not late! I am EARLY" so this man kept asking me to buy me a drink which I kept refusing because I think it is disrepectful to be making dates and forming relationships on my dates time, I mean I would never have been there if my date had not asked me out right? right. Eventually my guy arrives and I was so relieved because he was adorable but more than that he looked normal and friendly, and not "horny and sweaty " like the rest of the people in the place. . What I liked the most about him was his self-confidence. He was so cooool when he walked in, not even flinching when that older guy that was looming over me like a letch, and just not leaving when it was appropriate and acting like I was his "catch of the day" so my date (lets call him "Avon" ) said "lets get outta here" which was quite assertive. It was like he said "this is bullshit and Im takin her outta here, shes my date". Nice move. So we left and went to this quaint little Spanish place and had a very tiny dinner, really because we had both eaten already and were pretending to be hungry. Conviently he lives like two blocks from the restaurant and asked if I wanted to see his New York apartment. Duh, who can resist that? I was totally shocked when I saw that he lived on his own, when I was expecting a cavelcade of sweaty footed roommates like most new york guys have, (even if they are in their 40's) but no, he had a great place its was huge, clean, nicely furnished with a huge flat screen tv and suede sofas and a fully stocked bar.. . humph, I thought...how old is this guy again? The last guy I dated that lived in Manhattan was 39 and lived along with his brother in a one bedroom apartment with a built in murphy bed and a door man, which I later moved into ..... (but thats another story for another day) anyway we, sat down in the living room and "Avon" poured me a glass of wine, and gave me a massage.....(so yeah without saying what actually happened next) lets just say I was verrrry relaxed about two hours later) I was like wow , that was alot hotter than the "stuff" id been doing with the older guys I usually date. He had alot more energy and was much more like smooth and has some really soft skin and no turkey-neck (still another story for another time) so I was feeling pretty fluffy when I left the bedroom and went to the bathroom, leaving the bathroom well, I was not as fluffy at all. I blew my nose and threw the tissue in the garbage, and there in the garbage was like girlie trash! Q-tips with make-up on them and tissues and an old bottle of mascara! Unless this guy was a secret cross dresser I have to think I was not the only "chick" in his place that day! Oh my God I thought, now that is just nasty, and or careless! He had come to meet me right after work so he hadnt had a chance to check the garbage? Did he have a sleep-over last nite? Wasnt he even slightly concerned that I may see that? Ewww, girlie garbage,gross. Needless to say had a funky attitude the rest of the evening, he muttered "whats wrong or something like that" I of course said "nothing" and fell asleep. Yes I spent the night, not because I really really wanted to but I was comfortable and my car was parked about 10 blocks away. Laziness certainly gets alot of men extra ass, at least in New York City. So he goes away on his trip to Peru that very morning and is gone for like 10 days, I missed him like a stalker , like a wierdo, like a pirhana....or something. I know I am retarded, dont judge me assholes!!! . So he writes me while hes there tells me he's ok and im relieved. (although i know he is down there ramming some peruvian pussies with his anaconda and the very thought makes me sick) but what could I say we are not even dating...so he gets back on like Wednesday says "lets hang out", I didnt see him til Monday, yeah the whole weekend, I was checking my blackberry, facebook,voicemail, every email outlet known to man,nothing! The rest of the week,passed by, the weekend no call.I felt like warmed over liverwurst by now .... then this brainiac posts photos of himself with some girl in a bikini at some really cool party in the hamptons . (thanx for the invite) But still we are not dating. But Monday? Monday is so lame of a day for even dinner or sex because its the start of the week and we have to wake up early and have to be professional and cannot get drunk or be too loud . Plus this is not a date nite,this was a nite that I was not in Westchester because I went to Comedy Short Cuts and then had comedy in Greenpoint Brooklyn. So he asked me to stop by after and so I did although I was pissed about the garbage, the weekend all that shit, still stopped. .....i have GOT to stop having sex on the first date.... for I have landed myself once again in the JUUMP OFFFF ZONE ZONE ZONE (reverb sound goes here) I really cannot complain cuz this guy is really alot younger than me and Im sure not all these relationships wind up like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore (and she is alot richer than me well a little)...! But still I like him and feel like some kind of a jackass for even being played like this at all, but somehow his arrogance renders me powerless and I say "yes" when he invites me over, although I made him pay for the weekend by telling him I was "Aunt Flo was in town" when she was not...heh heh heh but i gave him a (use your imagination) so WHO AM I KIDDING HERE??? I really need some kind of sex therapy, not on how to have it better, but really on how to stop having it...
WTF....!
