Finally the election is over or should I say finally I wrote something about it... I saw so muych bullshit, so much racism, so much fear that people had of even discussing who they were voting for or why. I actually got into an arguement with a woman who was a waitress, waiting on me and my date incidentally, because she said "Romney looks like a President" I was like arent you from another country? Dont you work as a waitress? I asked her to send another waitress...I thought is anyone really voting based on this crap? Obviously she meant , hes white ,he looks like a president. I was so disgusted, I didnt want that bitch anywhere near my food period! Congrats Prez Obama,I knew you were the safe choice...I didnt want to have to wear Mormon hair and long dresses and call all men father...so thank you for winning....really.

Disrepectful someone call the Secret Service, a Romney needs an asswhoopin!

Wow I was listening to Stepanie Miller today and I actually heard the 42 year old Tagg Romney say, That if he had the chance he'd "like to take a swing" at The President of the United States of America! Wow. None of this would EVER happen in the BUSH administration or any of the former White presidents offices. This family of nanny-sat piglets needs a lesson in the rules of engagement. Also a lesson in what it means to be an AMERICAN! This dick-head actually also said in a snarky spoilt brat snicker....that "people have asked why my brothers and I never served in the Military, (Daddy Mitt escaped to France) Well my answer was "because we had a HIGHER CALLING and that was to work on OUR FATHERS PRESIDENTIAL Campaign... Can I gag him with his silver fucking spoon. What a G-Damned INSULT to all our Armed Forces! How can he possibly think this HELPED his Daddy Mitt? I think he should use that as a comedy act for the USO... now that WOULD be comedy. Im sure the young men and women who joined the Armed Forces felt that DEFENDING THE USA WAS THE HIGHEST CALLING! What a low-life-little-rich-boy-prick.

It started out well..

It started out well. I had been asked out by a guy a comic who I happened to meet 7 years ago, yes 7. He asked me out over Facebook and had been in touch and friendly before on Facebook too. I thought he may have been interested but we had never had one conversation so obviously he was merely just attracted to my pictures...or who he met 7 years ago. But he did ask me out and I was really curious. Heres how it went. I thought we could go to a friends play....I was dying to see it and it was my last opportunity to go and the guys only night he was free, so I said kill two birds. Well Ok so he never called me only texted, everything, so much to the point that as I was puling up to the bar I thought OMG what if it isnt even him! I mean people have used facebook to dupe people before and you can use google voice, my mind was goin nuts. But it was him and at least that was ok... So I found the bar which I thought was going to be a bar restaurant or lounge or somplace nice, it was a dive where people were playing cornhole with bean bags and beer pong. I though "classy and romantic" I was there at 8:45 only one hour prior(time he set- the play begins at 9:45)He was late , but did send a text. I ordered a drink. He showed up. Gave me a kiss and ordered a drink (for himself), he did not order me a drink, the bartender looked at him like "hey asshole" but she said "would you like to get her something?" He acted startled like "oh! I forgot this woman was here with me" So we had a drink and tried to have an awkward conversation. In which he asked me my age, not a good starting point. He acted shocked and had that look Ive seen alot lately like (oh) well he said I looked amazing for my age and thought I was in my early 30's. (well I WAS 7 YEARS AGO) He wrote me off I could feel it. Not to mention, I noticed he knew zero about me. I have my whole life online, I have this blog, I have a website, I always check in on facebook, My comedy videos are online, Im on IMDB,I mean he read or watched nothing in 7 years!? uhm. We went to the play, he commented on the actresses being in shape , but of course gave me no compliment on my outfit or hair or..anything Id spent time in the mirror on. We watched the play it was 45 minutes, we stayed after to greet my friend whose show it was and I thought good maybe we can talk a bit more and eat because I was starving. Nope! He had to go walk his dogs. I though ( are you fucking kidding me, this is our first date and IM playing second fiddle to dogs?) Its not like he did not have notice to get a walker or get a sitter...I was let down, so I went and got a nicoise salad alone with a glass of wine, I was in bed by 11:30. Well not the worst date Ive had but I never thought a date could be quite so casual and boring and lame at the same time...after 7 years of wanting to get to know me...wow. Well Comics are totally self centered and not great dates...the romance factor was nil. Maybe we should have played cornhole first.

The Preliminary Round - Comedians 19-20

So many idiots so little time...HPN White Plains Airport Diner

Traveling is not a privledge like it used, to be its a nessecity for work, we have to get there! So when I see something that makes travel even more aggravating it pisses me off. Let me ask you something, If you are at the airport and you are waiting on a flight in "air-port" diner and the announcements are turned down so low they are just an annoying rattle like Charlie Browns teacher, wouldnt you be aggravated? Especially on a day like today when the weather is sketchy.... I asked the waitress why they wouldnt turn it up loud enough to just be audible ( to get announcements of boarding, delays and missing passengers) and she said she was "not allowed", so I said "why?"
She said the manager said so. I said well let me ask him then. I asked this man who showed up who was clearly only there to translate to the staff , (but thats beside the point) I said, "why is that speaker on at all if its in-audible?" He said "we are not allowed, we are in the restaurant business, not the airport business. I couldnt believe he could say it with a strait face! I was like "what? you are in the airport business, if the airport wasnt here, we wouldnt be here and.....i paused , this is useless, just go back to your important restaurant business, dont let me disturb you." and this is a three floor, one gate airport, so......
Maybe now you see what I mean....and people wonder why we have an economy problem? because people who ARE working are idiots and fuck up the lives of other people who are trying to GET to work with there bull-crap!

Well Im back from the Family Cruise!

Probably the longest stretch of time ive ever been at sea! Ok first, my room was below sea-level and i can swear I heard whales moaning at night, second drinks were high although I did manage to smuggle two 6 liters of liquor onto the ship, dont ask me how (heh, heh) I wasnt paying attention really but this cruise was Saturday to Saturday! omg! That is a long friggin time! Although it was annoying it was ultimately good for my career I met great people and hopefully more people to follow me either on twitter or literally ( i see you out there in the bushes you freak). Why is Basketball Wives called Basketball wives? Those bitches are all divorced! Anyhoo back to the cruise, everytime I met a sexy guy, I HAD to give them my number like a desperate bitch because that boat was like three malls on top of eachother and I literally never saw alot of people again!
The boat was rocking, and rolling, and the food was coming up more than staying down. I sang some horrible kareoke, my feet swelled up like little pickeled pigs feet in a jar thats too small. oddly enough- I think I am the first chick in history to have LOST wieght on a cruise shit, whoops i mean cruise ship. I did face alot of fears this past week, number one a fear of cruise ships, a fear of the ocean, a fear of water slides.....my fear of Jamaica was justified, Im sorry but that shit was just too poor, I felt like shit , I was trying to buy and support but when this dude tried to look like he was comin for my Moms bag....that was it bumbaklot seriously
fuck ocho rios.

Ageism is running rampant!

Lisa Rinna is a mothter of two and she wears a sexy evening gown and she is told to "put it away", Madonna a style ICON and Fashion Royalty , is dissed for wearing thigh high boots and minidresses? Who the fuck do these people think they are? I mean little girls are wearing next to nothing in videos before their 18th birthday , but Milfs get dissed for dressing sexy? If you work hard on your body and you look good you can rock a mini at any age!
We are a world obsessed with underage ass. Its so disgusting.